Mr. Qian Zhongshu said:
Marriage is a besieged city, where those outside the city want to enter and those inside the city want to come out

Marriage is beautiful, but also trivial, and everyone has different understandings and choices.
Some people bravely try and live a happy life; Someone kicked off with a loud bang and left the table in loneliness; Some people are willing to live outside the city and be beautiful alone.
But no matter how we choose or how it ends, it represents our expectations and vision behind it.
Today, Xiaojiu will talk to everyone about marriage.

Why did you choose to get married?

For couples who have never entered the marriage hall, getting married is because of love;
For couples who have just entered into marriage, getting married is for better companionship;
For elderly couples who have gone through half of their lives, marriage is already their half and will continue for the rest of their lives.
But if we answer this question from a psychological perspective:
In the past, the main function of marriage was to provide a sense of security.
This is because of the backwardness of social development, and people are full of uncertainty about their lives. Marriage can bring people a more stable life compared to being single; At the same time, spiritual support from partners can greatly alleviate various aspects of stress.
At present, choosing to get married is because people want to gain self satisfaction from marriage.
Nowadays, marriage is no longer limited to unilateral demands, but rather to affirmation after self giving. More and more people hope that self satisfaction and self-worth can be achieved through marriage.

The essence of marriage is not love

Marriage doesn't require a great love, not hating each other is already enough capital for marriage
This sentence shatters most people's fantasies about marriage, but reality is just like that.
Emotions are the foundation of marriage, but they are not indispensable. There is nothing eternal and unchanging in this world, including love.
That's also why most of the people who eventually enter the marriage hall and can work together for a lifetime are not those immortal couples.
Because the essence of marriage is not love.
Love will eventually return to mediocrity with the passage of time.
No matter how many vows and romantic moments you make in love, after marriage, if you rely solely on love to sustain yourself, you will find that even the most passionate moments will be consumed by the mundane realities of life, and you may even end up hating each other.
Love is just icing on the cake for marriage, not too bad either.

The essence of marriage is value exchange

Economist Xue Zhaofeng said from an economic perspective:
Marriage is about two people running a business and signing a contract. They are running a family business and signing a lifelong wholesale futures contract. Each person has to provide corresponding resources and values, including physical value, beauty value, emotional value, economic ability, family relationships, and future potential. The resources provided by each person are different, and the time and pace of their impact are also different
Despite reality, this is the truth.
After marriage, the key to determining whether a marriage can last is whether the two individuals can consistently provide each other with 'value'.
Another more heart wrenching truth is that the establishment of the marriage system is for the legitimate inheritance of family property, as evidenced by the current Marriage Law.
The marriage system has never been a protection for love, on the contrary, love is the emotion and romance that people give to beautify marriage.
The essence of marriage is a balanced exchange of values between each other.
In other words, if you want to achieve a significant value return, you must first have an equivalent value investment.

04 said in the end

Marriage is a collaboration built on emotions.
A good marriage must be a two-way journey, mutual fulfillment, and common growth.
Recognizing the essence of marriage and always maintaining one's own value is the key to achieving better love and life.