The bottom line of marriage is mutual respect

The bottom line of marriage is mutual respect. But this can only be achieved in a state of mutual equality, which is not just an abstract concept.

Firstly, it is reflected in the equality of discourse power and dominance. When a couple has equal discourse power and dominance, there is no way for one party to make decisions arbitrarily. Everyone can only reach an agreement through negotiation, discussion, and listening to each other's opinions. Therefore, any couple who is "good at negotiation and quantity" must have equal discourse power and dominance behind it. On the contrary, if one party has greater discourse power and dominance than the other, the party with more discourse power and dominance has little need to care about the other party's opinions, and arbitrary decision-making will occur in the family. Behind Yang Zi's domineering behavior is the loss of Huang Shengyi's discourse power and dominance.

Secondly, equality is more reflected in the equality of values. This value equality does not necessarily manifest as property equality, but rather equal evaluation of each other's values. For example, although one party has a higher income than the other, the higher party still recognizes that the other party has the same value as themselves. The difference in income will not undermine the equality of mutual value evaluation. But if one party believes that the other party's value is low, even if the other party's income is higher than their own, they will still sneer at them. Just like how Huang Shengyi's sales performance is higher than Yang Zi's, Yang Zi still denies her performance. Essentially, it is because Yang Zi has a low evaluation of Huang Shengyi's personal value and a high evaluation of her own value.

In a marital relationship, once one party's personal value evaluation of the spouse decreases, contempt, disregard, and neglect are inevitable occurrences. People do not respect those they consider to have low value, nor do they cherish those they consider to have low value, because once we believe that someone or something has low value, we are not afraid of losing them at all. How can we always pay attention to, take care of, and care about the feelings and needs of people or things that we are not afraid of losing?

Compared to losing the right to speak and control in marriage, being perceived as having low value by the other party is a more serious problem. Losing the right to speak and control does not necessarily mean that the other party underestimates your value; For example, in many marital relationships, although one party is very dominant, as long as they do not underestimate the value of the other party, they can achieve respect and cherish. However, once your value is underestimated by the other party, you will not be able to gain their respect and appreciation, and your already weak voice and control will be lost even more completely.

The marital relationship between Yang Zi and Huang Shengyi clearly demonstrates this characteristic. The fundamental reason for Yang Zi's contempt, disregard, and neglect of Huang Shengyi is his low evaluation of Huang Shengyi's personal value. Because of her low value evaluation, she naturally lacks respect, cherishes, and cares.

As for why Yang Zi has such a low personal value evaluation of Huang Shengyi, it is beyond our speculation.

But we need to note that it is obvious that Huang Shengyi himself does not have a high evaluation of his own value. Because only people with low self-worth evaluations will show excessive tolerance and patience in the face of others' disrespect, lack of appreciation, and indifference. Faced with Yang Zi's various public expressions of control, superiority, contempt, and indifference, although Huang Shengyi was displeased, he often expressed patience and helplessness through silence. Many people believe that this is due to Huang Shengyi's financial considerations, but perhaps the problem that happened to Huang Shengyi is much more serious, which is low self-worth evaluation.

Huang Shengyi's problem is actually very common. Although the reasons for its formation are different, many people have a low evaluation of their self-worth, that is, they do not have the ability to recognize their own strengths, only the ability to recognize their weaknesses. If we think we are not good enough, then others will not respect or cherish us, and we will subconsciously feel it is reasonable. Those who have low self-evaluation often exhibit Huang Shengyi's silent patience and boundless tolerance when faced with unfair treatment.

Objectively speaking, Huang Shengyi is not bad in terms of talent, appearance, and ability. Why does she have such a low self-evaluation? Although we cannot rashly speculate on her upbringing, one thing needs to be noted: although Huang Shengyi is a celebrity, she is likely to have not received sufficient recognition during her upbringing, just like many ordinary girls, especially those whose parents have high expectations. Her parents' high demands may make her feel that she is "not good enough" in terms of self-awareness. Such a girl is very adaptable and accepting of others saying she is "not good enough", while on the contrary, the praise, attention, and compliments from others may make her feel fearful and apprehensive.

Due to Yang Zi's age being much older than Huang Shengyi, his advantages in experience and wealth made him show a sense of superiority and control in front of Huang Shengyi in the early stages of the relationship. If Huang Shengyi at that time belonged to a girl with strong self-awareness and high self-worth evaluation, she would instinctively show resistance when Yang Zi first showed superiority and control desire; On the contrary, if her self-worth is low, she is unlikely to have such instinctive resistance, because people with low self-worth are naturally more likely to accept the dominant and controlling party.

So, the other party's sense of superiority and control gradually strengthened without encountering obstacles, and all she could cope with was to mobilize more patience, tolerance, and endurance. And her patience, tolerance, and endurance further indulge the other party's unbridled sense of superiority and control. Between them, this tragic vicious cycle is likely to be formed in this way.

So, the problem that arises between Yang Zi and Huang Shengyi is not simply about the amount of wealth. Perhaps tracing back to a girl's upbringing and why she had a low self-worth evaluation would have more enlightening significance for people.