Recently, there was a post online where a wife shared her experiences living with her mother-in-law.
To describe it in one sentence:
Full of grievances
She said her mother-in-law is someone who is "very weak in front of outsiders, but very tough in front of herself".

My mother-in-law came to my house when I was about to give birth, and she said she wanted to take good care of me during my confinement period
I was originally quite happy and grateful
But unexpectedly, her expectations turned into disappointment.
My mother-in-law is very domineering. She says she will treat her as well as her daughter, but behind her back, she wishes she could experience all the hardships she has gone through.
When I was in my confinement period, it was a hot summer day. She didn't let me open the window, turn on the air conditioning, and most importantly, she didn't let me take a shower
I can understand that it may be because I'm afraid of the wind during my confinement period, but there really isn't any cooling measure in place
During that time, she looked forward to her mother-in-law going out to buy groceries every day, so that she could slow down her fan during meetings.
The same goes for eating.
It's called taking care of her and making delicious food for her.
But in reality, there's not a single meal she cooks that I love, it's all his son's favorite.
I clearly enjoy eating meat, but she always prepares a large table of vegetarian dishes and talks about nutrition and health.
I clearly don't like to eat chives, but she always wraps chives and eggs when making dumplings. She insists on putting a few of these chives in my bowl because they are fresh.
They will even force me to eat at the dining table in different ways
More importantly, the mother-in-law is very good at interfering with her life in a "good to you" way.
For example, clothes must be hand washed and cannot be machine washed.
You have to buy things according to your own taste and habits.
Once it involves matters at home, as long as she makes a decision, her mother-in-law will definitely intervene and force her to listen to her own words.
Even the concepts of buying groceries, cooking, and spending money require me to learn from her and align my habits with hers
If I don't listen to her, she will get angry with me behind her son's back
Although the mother-in-law has mentioned this behavior to her husband more than once, most of the time, he maintains a so-called 'neutral attitude'.
Only once, the mother-in-law broke into their bedroom without saying hello and said that he would wash his underwear for his son. His son was a little hard and asked his mother to hurry back to his room to rest.
In addition, my mother-in-law is particularly 'smart'. Every time my husband wants to stand in a neutral position to reconcile conflicts, she immediately shows weakness, puts on a low posture to wipe away tears, and tries to kidnap her son
Every time, her son really softens his heart and comes to criticize me
Many people have asked her, 'Since she always has to endure anger, why not get a divorce?'?
I have a daughter, and my family doesn't have anyone to support me.
Divorce is easy, but the rest of life has to be lived, right?
My husband and mother-in-law are both okay with my daughter, but I also have to consider the child
In fact, even these words were only spoken publicly on social media after her mother-in-law passed away.
Before this, she endured for a full 20 years.
The fear is that it will cause disharmony in the family.
Indeed, for many married women, suffering for themselves is nothing, as long as they are good to their children and family.
Little do they know that such views often take into account the overall situation.
But those moments of grievance and endurance can only be silently endured by oneself.
A few days ago, my friend told me:
She got divorced.
I was shocked because I still vividly remember the scene of their marriage three years ago.
At that time, they spoke wedding vows with deep affection.
I just didn't expect that after three years, they still couldn't come together.
My friend told me that the reason for divorce is not because of emotional discord, but because I really don't know how to handle the mother-in-law relationship.
Her mother-in-law, unlike what was mentioned earlier, doesn't act in person and behind the scenes.
But it has always been very dominant.
When she got married, she had already agreed with her husband that she would buy flowers while holding them, and even picked the flower shop closest to the hotel in advance, planning to deliver them directly the next day.
Unexpectedly, on that day, my mother-in-law replaced it with plastic flowers.
Just use it for a while, why should it be so expensive.
Not to mention preparing for the Chinese New Year banquet, she originally thought that with a large family, there would be no time to cook. She suggested buying some semi-finished products in advance or booking a few dishes to eat together at the hotel.
I didn't expect my mother-in-law to be serious:
This is your first year here, and your relatives are all watching, waiting to taste your craftsmanship
So that day, she was busy all by herself in the kitchen, and her mother-in-law only occasionally came in to ask a few questions, urging her throughout the whole process:
Have you washed the fruits yet? "" Why isn't the dish good? "" Hurry up, everyone is waiting
That day she really felt like a clown, firmly grasped.
What made her even more sad was when she was pregnant. In the first three months of pregnancy, she was very pregnant and basically in a state of vomiting whatever she ate, with no smell of meat or fish.
But the mother-in-law still ignored it and made big fish and big meat.
Repeatedly making her feel nauseous.
What was even more unacceptable to her was that once the clothesline at home was broken. She had originally said she would wait for her husband to come back and fix it, but her mother-in-law insisted that the weather was good today and if it wasn't fixed now, she wouldn't be able to hang clothes today.
So she stepped on the small stool and began repairing the clothesline according to her mother-in-law's wishes.
She regrets thinking about it now, because it was that time when she accidentally slipped and fell.
At that time, the fetus was already unstable, and her mood was always very depressed.
After hastily calling 120 and going to the hospital, the child was still unable to be saved.
It was also this matter that made her determined to divorce.
Yesterday made me angry, and today a child has passed away. I can't imagine what abyss awaits me in the future
At that moment, she finally realized:
It turns out that marrying someone doesn't just depend on the man.
It also depends on what kind of mother is standing behind him, and more importantly, how the man stands when conflicts arise.
Her grievances and forbearance over the past three years are precisely due to the man who keeps saying that he loves him. He only protects his mother in everything and never knows how to balance the family relationship.
No wonder people say:
Compared to a strong mother-in-law, the most chilling thing for women is a filial husband.
A few days ago, there was a trending topic online:

There is no marriage that cannot be separated by parents in law

Many people share their experiences among them, and you will find that most of them point to one person:
husband.
Think carefully about this matter:
When you quarrel with your mother-in-law, your husband scolds you in front of his mother in seven ways. How can you stand in this family?
When you feel wronged, your husband doesn't ask for any reasons and only tells you, 'She's getting old, you let her go.' How can you survive at home?
Even more often, when you get angry about your mother-in-law's problems, your husband just says, 'She's my mom, how could she harm me?' How can you feel at ease?
No wonder people say that breaking up a marriage was never your in laws, but your inactive husband.
He failed to stand in the right position and defend the rights of your family;
He failed to put you in the first place and handle his mother son relationship well.
So, you bear all the hardships and grievances, can we not divorce?
In fact, in most families, no matter how powerful the mother-in-law is, as long as the son can stand in a good position and grasp the reasoning, it is difficult for the mother-in-law to bully the daughter-in-law.
Speaking of which, I think of Yi Nengjing's two marriages.
When they were together earlier, although they loved each other deeply, Yu Chengqing almost never cared about or dealt with the conflict between his mother and Yi Nengjing.
My mother-in-law despised Yi Nengjing for being born into a small family and would publicly call her a "little actress" and accuse her of being a "scheming woman".
Due to her mother-in-law's strong opposition, the media mostly launched verbal and written attacks on her. Under various malicious attacks, Yi Nengjing was sensitive and insecure, and most of the time she had to rely on sleeping pills to get through the long nights.
At that time, she would go crazy drinking late at night and injure herself with a knife due to emotional excitement.
She longed to gain the attention of that man, but unfortunately Harlem Yu could only say, 'You're so rebellious.'.
Although Yu Chengqing's love for her is well known to everyone.
But due to the disharmony of her family relationship, Yi Nengjing was still tormented day after day until she could no longer bear it. Only then did she issue a divorce statement through her agency.
Her words broke my heart.
You don't care about my words, you don't care about my performance, you don't care about my glory, you just love me and ignore the outlet of my soul
Now, with Qin Hao and the loving care of her mother-in-law and husband, Yi Nengjing's soul has also found an outlet.
Many people say that she has completely changed.
She will naturally call her mother-in-law "mom" and can restrain her mother-in-law without caring.
There is a scene in the variety show: when the mother-in-law is determined to lose weight, but also has a craving, Yi Nengjing can easily take what the mother-in-law is eating.
She would also strongly discourage her mother-in-law when she wanted to eat cantaloupe:
Mom, don't eat cantaloupe either. cantaloupe has nothing good except sugar
Even when her mother-in-law played tricks such as' I'll reduce after eating cantaloupe 'and' I'll start reducing from tomorrow ', Yi Nengjing would still firmly control her mother-in-law like an adult managing a child.
In front of the camera, she can also say without hesitation: My mom is a little fool, she's a daughter, you know?
And such behavior is inseparable from the mother-in-law's tolerance and Qin Hao's high emotional intelligence.
At the dinner table, Qin Hao always speaks with high emotional intelligence, making everyone feel comfortable.
Mom is happy, daughter-in-law is happy, and the family atmosphere is naturally getting better and better.
No wonder everyone says that Yi Nengjing can no longer sing those sad songs and no longer rely on sleeping pills to make ends meet.
Her condition is getting better and her happiness is visible to the naked eye.
This is not only a benefit of marrying the right person, but also a change brought about by having a wise mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law.
More importantly, he is a son who has made efforts and shown love for every family member.
In recent years, many articles have told you that before marriage, you must consider these factors, such as the man's character, savings, life plans, and so on.
But what few people remind you of is that besides these, it is more important to learn to observe the mother son relationship of the other party.
The way a mother interacts with her son, the way she controls her son, and how she constrains her son, as well as whether she is dominant in front of her son, will all determine the direction of your marriage in the future.
And men, on the other hand, also need to learn how to handle such relationships. Don't always trap themselves with filial piety, and don't try to satisfy their parents' needs with their own happiness.
In the latter half of your life, you will ultimately have to choose someone to accompany you.
At the end of the article, I would like to ask you:
Is your family's relationship harmonious? How do we usually handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
Welcome to share with us in the comment section. Perhaps your suggestion can save a family relationship on the brink of collapse.
I hope that every reader of the article:
Everyone can have a healthy family relationship.
Everyone can be together hand in hand, and the family will be happy until old age.