A truly powerful woman, with this attitude towards marriage, is truly intelligent

Recently, I came across a video online that is both tear jerking and full of power.
The little girl in the video tells a story about her mother.
Thirteen years ago, on her 5th birthday, her mother bought her a beautiful cake that she rarely eats on weekdays.

And Mom was tidying up her clothes next to her.
After finishing the cake, my mother took her big and small bags and took her away from the place where she had always lived.
At that time, she knew nothing but that the cake was so sweet.
All the gloom before the age of five seems to have been dispelled by that little cake.
In my memory, the true happiness and ease of my life also began from that time.
The days of leaving home are not easy, and my mother doesn't know where to go.
My parents' home cannot be returned, let alone returned.
She could only take her young self and stay in a simple small hotel for a long time.
When I left home, my mother didn't have much money with her.
But once, when she said she wanted to eat ice porridge, her mother didn't hesitate to buy it for her.
The bowl of ice porridge also became the best bowl in memory.
The days spent with my mother are always happy in my memories.
From that day on, every remaining day was a good day
After reading it, I was deeply moved.
In fact, in reality, there are more women who compromise in marriage under the guise of "being a child".
But this story is like a shot in the arm.
As stated in a comment section:
Let us celebrate here the great decision made by a brave and outstanding woman 13 years ago for her and her child, and this decision will also give birth to another brave and outstanding woman
In that era of closed mindedness, this mother was not trapped by marriage, but bravely escaped from it with her daughter and herself.
From then on, the gears of fate began to turn, and she would eventually be rewarded with a brand new life.
In those bad marriages, we often hear a classic reason:
Worried that the child lacks fatherly love
This reason may seem fine, but upon closer examination, one will discover a logical loophole:
Can children have fatherly love in such a family environment?
At the moment when a question is asked, I believe everyone has an answer in their heart.
In the Korean drama 'Dark Glory', Jang Hyun nam, the revenge deputy of Moon Dong eun, is a middle-aged woman who has been ravaged by domestic violence for years.
When they first met, the premise for their cooperation was:
She helped Wen Dongen collect evidence, and Wen Dongen helped her solve her husband's problem.
What kind of husband would make his wife unable to tolerate him to such an extent.
This is an incompetent and irritable middle-aged man.
Idle and idle.
Jiang Xiannan had to work as a nanny to make a living, but the money he earned had to be handed over to men.
And men, on the other hand, take their wives' money out to drink and get drunk, and when they come back, they start to go crazy, curse and beat their wives.
Never shy away, there is also a daughter in this family.
In order to maintain the integrity of the family, every time Jiang Xiannan is beaten by her husband, she neither retaliates nor resists.
My daughter Shanya saw it in her eyes and felt pain in her heart.
Finally, one day, Shanya couldn't bear to see her mother being violently beaten by her father and ran out to defend her.
But her act of saving her mother was immediately met with even more crazed beatings and insults from her father.
Jiang Xiannan finally realized that if she didn't take action, her daughter would also suffer the same fate as her.
When a man cannot treat his wife well, do not expect him to treat her children well.
Even though this child is bleeding the same blood as him.
I want to rely on my own endurance to help my child find fatherly love in a seemingly unbreakable but actually completely separated family.
This itself is a false proposition.
How can a person lose something that doesn't exist in the first place?
You should know that the roles of "bad husband" and "good father" are difficult to appear in one person at the same time.
Compared to escaping, exposing a child to a domestic violence environment is the real harm.
I once heard a psychological counselor say:
The scenes of childhood domestic violence can even become nightmares for many people as they grow up
Some people become perpetrators as a result, some suffer from depression, and some fear intimate relationships.
So, don't think that:
By using the excuse of 'for the sake of the child', we can maintain family peace and protect the child's inner world.
actually:
Whether the mother is really happy or not, the child can perceive it;
Dad really cares about the family, the child will eventually understand and know;
Allowing children to grow up in such an environment will not bring them true happiness, and may even have an indelible negative impact on their entire life.
Of course, leaving the wrong marriage is never an easy task.
We need to seriously consider the issue of 'divorce costs':
Will the standard of living decrease after divorce?
Will the education of children be affected?
These high costs have tied the hands and feet of some people.
Although marriage is beyond cure, one has to resort to the name of "being a child" to trap oneself in the ruins of marriage.
A blogger online shared his personal experience:
I have wanted my mother to leave a bad marriage countless times
When I was a child, her family had good conditions.
Dad is a factory manager who often has affairs with other women based on his ability to earn money. Every time he came home late, he always wore other people's perfume and hair, and his mother cried with him.
But this doesn't change my father's character at all.
He even intensified his behavior, taking advantage of his mother's absence to lead other women into the house.
In front of this friend, flirting and flirting with other women.
As a child, she had all three values destroyed at that time.
She told her mother everything she saw and urged her to divorce decisively.
But my mother hesitated.
After Dad came back, Mom had a big scene and smashed all the bottles and jars in the house.
But after the storm, he still endured his father.
My friend was very puzzled, but my mother tearfully said to her:
Who do you think I'm holding back for, not for you, to have a complete home
At that time, she was in extreme pain inside.
She felt that it was her own existence that dragged down her mother's life, and she was the initiator of her mother's tragic life.
When she was a little older, she asked her mother again:
Mom, you should get a divorce and live the life you want
But her mother said to her:
I'm already such an adult. Why get divorced? Isn't it okay for people around me to gossip
She was frozen in place at the time, unable to speak.
The so-called 'for her' actually means that my mother never thought about divorce.
Even to the point where she doesn't dare to divorce.
She is worried about not being able to take care of her children and also worried about other people's gossip.
In the outside world, any small thing can crush her.
Perhaps they themselves are not aware that their persistent pursuit of 'for the children' is actually just a cover up for their inner cowardice.
This is undoubtedly cruel for children.
Unconsciously, they took the blame for their mother's unfortunate life and left a deep scar on their lives.
Finally, this friend said:
When I grow up, I swear I will never become someone like my mother
She can understand her mother, but she doesn't want to be a mother.
Many marriages that claim to be for the sake of children are actually just an excuse to "shirk responsibility and loosen restrictions for one's own choices".
As a result, it not only wronged oneself but also caused hardship to the child.
After children grow up, they may understand your situation at that time, but they may not be grateful for your "efforts".
Returning to the beginning of the article, we may now have a better understanding of how brave and honest the mother who "ran away from a terrible marriage with her child" was.
Bravery is the unwillingness to seek stability and endure long-term grievances and devastation, even when one knows the twists and turns of the road ahead;
Honesty means taking responsibility for oneself, never deceiving oneself, and not using the name of "sacrifice" to evade one's own responsibilities.
We also found more brave stories under that discussion.
When I was five years old, my mother picked me up on the bus. Since then, my mother has been busy with business, and we have been living in small rooms, moving to tube houses, and even elevator rooms. We have always been two people. Next week, I will be studying abroad for my second degree
Twenty years ago, my mother resolutely escaped domestic violence and decided to divorce. She was the first woman in our area to file for divorce, and the whole village was scared to death. My mother even pulled me and my sister out, took custody, and left that den. I really love her, thank her for not letting me grow up in an atmosphere of domestic violence
At that time, I was in class when my mother came to school and said 'Grandma is gone' and asked me for leave. I was confused at the time, but later I found out that my mother took me to Grandma's bus and said she would never go back. I was extremely happy, and from then on, every day was a good day
What we see more from their stories is:
Leaving a bad marriage, their lives are always on the rise and jumping, no matter which direction they flow in.
Of course, Ten O'Clock is not encouraging divorce.
Some marriages still have room for redemption, while others can only be healed by scraping their bones.
Everyone should take responsibility for their own life, rather than wasting it in the wrong relationships.
It doesn't necessarily mean that divorce is just a matter of the female lead's satisfaction.
In reality, divorce for women does come at a huge cost.
Choosing this path means that no one can rely on us anymore, and no one can shelter us from the wind and rain. We must become the eaves of ourselves and our children.
This is very difficult.
But there are also gains.
What you can get is the assurance of taking control of your life in your own hands, as well as the satisfaction of not having to compromise or compromise and relying on others to live.
If you feel that the current timing is not yet ready, you can certainly accumulate strength and choose a day to travel.
Just don't let yourself and your child wait too long.
Because every day that is not lived for oneself is a waste.
Every time we talk about family education, everyone feels that:
The demands on parents are too high now, to the point where they dare not and will not become parents anymore.
In fact, it's not that the threshold for being a parent is high, but rather that the qualifications for being an excellent parent are high.
On the other hand, only when a person has a complete personality can they fulfill their responsibilities as parents.
So, before being good parents, please be good at yourself first.
Take responsibility for yourself, be honest with yourself, and not deceive yourself in life.
When you achieve these, you will find:
Being a parent is actually quite simple.
When you learn to respect yourself, you will also respect your children;
When you learn to love yourself, you know how to love children.
When parents become spiritual role models for their children, the best education is achieved.
Have you ever heard or experienced a similar story? Welcome to leave a message below~
Click on 'Watching', may you be brave and have the strength to always have the ability and courage to take yourself away from an unhappy life.